1) When you show them a picture of your puppy and they tell you they eat dog
2) When a date of a drink ends as soon as the last sip is completed
3) When they keep complementing your appearence and then let you know that you would be a perfect physical replacement for their ex
4) When they invite you to a place where there know a bunch of people and introduce you as a business assiciate
5) When they take you for a scenic drive and whip "it" out
6) When they give you a candy with an insect inside and expect you to eat it
7) When you can't get over the fact that they really smell like mold :S
8) When you've only seen pictures of them before the date and you can not recognize them in any way other than their race when meeting
9) When they take the cheque and say you'll have to "work it off"
10) When they ask you to marry them
11) When they make fun of what you order
12) When they tell you that they were once found non criminally responsible due to mental disease or defect (NCR) for the crime of carrying an illegal weapon
13) When they come to your house and without asking start taking stuff from your fridge
14) When they tell you that they really have a significant other but want to see what's out there and if it's better than they'll go
15) When they are too nervous to get out a coherent sentence
16) When a drunk across the way tells you (or them in this matter) that you're too good for them... it's pretty much a mood killer :S
17) When they tell you that they're just in it for the physical as soon as you meet
18) When they have a breakdown and spill out all that is depressing in the world
19) When they start to point out ways for you to improve yourself in their eyes
20) When they tell you that they have a problem with commitment and often dissapear after the first date
21) When they don't let you out of their car until you start to look seriously frightened
22) When they hold your arm so hard you go home with bruises
23) When they begin the riffle off all of their past criminal charges
24) When they ask who would know if you went missing
25) When they show up looking completely stoned out of their tree
26) When they tell you that what they're interested in is finding someone to post naked for them on their car
27) When they bring a friend along for whatever reason they may have without warning you
28) When you get bored to the point that you're jabbing yourself in the thigh to stay awake
29) When their phone continuously goes off with phone calls that they "just have to take" (I must admit I was on the other side of this before due to my job but the person I was with was warned before hand)
30) When they ask you if you enjoy naked photos and then hand you some of themselves
31) When they hit on the waitress... more than you lol
32) When you thought you were going out as friends and then somehow it's turned into a date but you REALLY aren't interested in it being that way at that time
33) When they tell you that they're actually in town on a visit and that they actually work and live 15 hours away
34) When you can't stop thinking about how much in real life they resemble a sibling or parent of yours *shudder*
35) When they talk about all of the people they are sleeping with at that time
36)When a women from a near by shelter smacks your date, pours apple juice over your head, steals your date's car stereo faceplate and runs away and you need to call your room mate for emotional support and a towel as you wait to make a police report... It could happen... (looks around awkwardly)
It's sad to say but I have more... just can't think of them at this moment. Feel encouraged to add your own in the comments section!
8 comments:
sheesh we go on one date and you make a list about it. well at least you didn't include the other 14 things...
I wish it was just with you... wait... no I don't. I've dated too much to still cuddle with pillows....grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
You meet at a movie theater, say hello to each other, go to sit down and between that instance and the nanosecond that your ass kisses the air directly above the chair, you realize your date has disappeared.
That would suck. That would suck seriously!
Hmmm...date stories eh?
To go along with 10 although not a proposal of marriage...but an out of the blue I want you to be my girlfriend after them not getting back to you 5 months earlier about a second date...say what???
Sort of like 17...with the need for the physical, that you think you can get it on the first date...what I don't think so, try never.
Well to go with 21 and 22 but not in a car...but they don't let you leave until they make you have a panic attack...and can't breath; like please just leave me alone, get away from me, can't you see that I am not interested in you?
To go along with with 32...why have I fallen for this more then once...if they say it's a group gathering, why must I trust that is the case? Why? Because, being the only one there and with someone that apparently knows people enough to leave you to go and talk to someone for over a half hour not once but twice and you are left sipping a drink on your own and feel you can't leave because it's suppose to be a birthday kind of gathering and you feel that everyone else has bailed, but then things get a little suspicious when they come back and sit next to you order food...what I was hoping just a drink so I could get out of here, hoping that someone will come. There seeing this say I am just going to check the line-up and see if people are in there waiting to get in? Oh, great the waitress things that we are on a date...she's bring an extra fork, WHY? I not hungry I ate before I left the house, No!! Not dessert too! The longest night...and it was only like 3hrs tops...but what a waste of my time.
Hmmm...I know there are probably more signs that a date isn't going well, but I am going with the non-dates that some how turned into dates for the most part.
Sounds like I know why you're single too... too many "winners" wasting our time! For one I would just like a knight in shining armor rather than a manipulative charmer :S
When your date tells you that every 6 months they NEED to have sex and it's been 5 months and 3 weeks and then winks at you....
and then you realize you aren't on a date at all.. you are in line for coffee at Starbucks on a Monday morning at 7am.
That is freaky! I was at a Starbucks this morning and I had the exact same hallucination :O I think it's a Starbucks thing...but going by the fact that today is a Thursday...IT'S DAILY! I think I'm going to try to go back every morning for a week and see how this pans out ;)
Post a Comment